Dolphin shack attack!

I haven't updated my blog since the day before I left Cambodia which was about another 3 weeks ago. This update is to include the past 6/7 weeks of my travels though Cambodia and Thailand so a lot of it will be very hazy on the details. Laura, Ellie, Emily and I left Vietnam and started in the capital - Phnom Peng. A very vibrant city and best known by the travellers as the site of the Killing Fields, a place where 200,000 Khmer people were killed in a massive genocide of the country. In total the Khyber Rouge killed roughly 1.4 million - 2.2 million people out of a population of 7 million. We went to the killing fields which in all honesty was simply a normal field, except filled with tourists with pensive attitudes of the overwhelming atmosphere of past murders. There was a vat filled with aparantly 8000 human skulls which i found a bit wrong for them to be on display. There was also a tree against which babies were routinely bashed against to kill them. Dark.

I only stayed one day in Phnom Peng as I had an really odd loss of endorphins in the evening and really didn't want to be around anyone. So i booked my bus to Sihanookville. I was only meant to stay in Sihanookville for about a week but I ended up staying there for whole month. I arrived at 5 oclock and took my usual explorative walk around the town and then down the beach. At 5:20 I walked into Dolphin Shack and started talking to my future boos Marie about getting a job. Marie is a hilarious girl/woman of 33 with I think she said 14 piercings (only 10 of which were visible.) She gave me the job and i went across the road to sort out a room. There i encountered Emily, Ellie and Laura. I don't mean to say that this was to my dismay, but I had already travelled with them 2 weeks and the main reason for me leaving Phnom Peng so early was partly as an escape so I was a little pissed off to find them coming to the same hotel as me. However it's a free country and that and I dealt with it. I told them about my job which Emily liked the sound of and after looking for another job for her at the other bars I accepted that she would work at dolphin shack. At 7 we went down to work and I began work in the bar. I loved working in the bar at dolphin shack as alcohol for the staff is free so I would just get progressively drunk as the night went on whilst learning to make all the cocktails on offer: Mojito, Pina Colada, Black/White Russian etc. I know them all and it became a big hobby for me to learn how to make different cocktails which over the month I like to think I mastered, even creating a new cocktail "the Hamish." I know it sounds silly but people did start requesting "the Hamish" which I either assume as something to do with the taste or the fact that it was probably the best value for alcohol content.
Over that week with Emily we flicked between me ignoring her after fights, us getting on as neither of us can hold a grudge and quite open animosity after the worst of the fights. Since the big fight me I went completely off Emily which served for some difficult times, but I think we have worked it out now and we can be friends, or at least I sincerely hope so as she is a really lovely person that I get on with really well.
There are so many stories from Sihanookville (most of them forgotten due to alcohol and repression.) For the full scoop you would have to ask me as I have some stories that I feel are even to disgusting to put up on the blog on which I have been as open as I have dared to be. However the things that stick out in my mind would be Naomi and Gary (the most lovely British couple that have semi-retired to live in Sihanookville and are the dolphin shack's most fierce regulars), the australian navy ship that descended on the bar, Jimmy (my manager) Dan (my khymer boss) Tida (my baby boss) Marie (my nutty boss) and the several infections I got from open cuts and a distinct lack of caring for myself. Naomi and Gary were really chilled out and I hope to see them when I get back from my travels in London. I could talk to Naomi about anything and she knew a lot more about me than most people by the end. She took absolute care of me. I trusted her and Gary with my cards and my passport as I trusted them more than myself. Naomi and Gary were the people that forced me to go to the doctors when my foot got really bad. When I went to the doctors he identified 11 different infections below my knees from stubbing toes, mosquito bites, and the infamous crater in my foot that got to a diameter of an inch before I got it checked out. The australian navy ship was moored for 4 days in the port and every day we had the majority of the ship in the bar getting very very drunk. They were awesome and although always drunk, they were also very respectful of the other customers and the rest of the staff which was why they were so appreciated. The first day they came I had got up early as the night before I had had the night off as I hadnt slept for 3 days due to abusing the free redbull behind the bar, which is loaded with amphetamines. I came down to the bar and no sooner had I poured my first beer of the morning, about 60 australian navy lads poured into the bar asking for rediculous drinks like buckets of Long Island Iced Tea and buckets of black russian. I saw one guy over the course of one afternoon drink 8 buckets of black russian - I couldn't have been more impressed. They left and the captain gave me hit hat as a tip. I cherish it and it is one of the few things I have checked on as regularly as my cards and passport on my travels. That's all I can write about for the moment but there is so much more to tell. I guess you will have to wait another month for the next update. Thanks for reading!

Vietnam, I love you long time.

OK so the last time I wrote I was in Vientienne missing Emily before travelling through the whole of Vietnam and then on to Cambodia where I am now. It has been about a month since my last post so the memories are Hazy. In Vientienne I had my rest and smoked a lot of weed with this Laos guy who worked at the hotel which was fun. Vientienne was quite boring and once I sorted out my visa I was gone. I can't remember in which order it was but in Vietnam we went to Hanoi, Hoian, Nah Trang and Saigon - I am sure I have missed some out. I didn't really like Vietnam but I had Emily which softened the blow of boredom at some parts.

In Hoian there were clothes shops everywhere. Not just normal clothes shops but tailored clothes shops everywhere. I met a cool guy called Tai and bought a shirt as I lost my green one. It fits me so well and was only about 5 quid which was nice. He has taken all of my measurements so I can send him an email asking him to make me any clothes at all and he will ship them over for no extra cost. I can send him a picture of the latest armani suit and he will make it for me perfectly according to my measurements for 40 dollars! I was chuffed about that until I rented my first moped. My first crash was after maybe 5 minutes of getting used to it where I dragged myself against a spiky cement wall, tearing all the skin off my arm. After that I mastered it (or so i thought) and me and Emily drove to the beach and chilled for an hour or two before going back to meet Laura and Ellie. I left Emily with the girls to go get my shirt from Tai. I picked it up and thats when some stupid american bitch on a bicycle came right out of nowhere! I slammed on the breaks, dodged the woman and went with my bike along the road. From this crash I ripped the skin of my right arm (was infected) cut a chunk out of my big toe (was infected) got a nasty scratch on the back of my leg (seriously infected currently) and a chunk out of my foot (my most serious infection - made a doctor gasp.) I am now taking care of all my infections and not drinking anymore so that they are infected so don't worry.

Nah trang was meant to be the party beach although we didn't find party until my last night before going to Saigon on my own. THe first couple of days we chilled on the beach and generally relaxed. The second day me and Emily got very drunk which was when I made her my girlfriend through facebook. N.B. This relationship lasted 2 days. We found a cool little bar called hot spot where we got nicely pissed before going home. On the 3rd day me Ellie Laura and Emily went on a boat trip which was hilarious. THis was the morning I had a terrible hangover and we had to get up at 9! On the boat the tour guides also played a band and it was an awesome laugh. We had one mysterious Manlady who looked like a man but reputedly had a vagina! He was the one that ran the bar in the sea which was basically a floating bucket filled with rice vodka and pineapple juice. (Rice vodka is horrifically disgusting... but it was free.) We snorkelled and I dived off the top of the boat for ages. Singing and drinking in the sea with the man lady was really fun, but this was when I realised I missed travelling by myself and not following the plans of the girls. This was when I told Emily I wanted to go off by myself, not be boyfriend and girlfriend and definitely not be exclusive. That was difficult and that night I left for Saigon. In Saigon I arrived after a horrible night of vomiting into my travel bag (disposed of) to realise I had left my passport behind the desk at our hotel. I didn't have the numbers of the girls and I knew they were leaving that day, either 7 in the morning or 7 at night. Luckily I facebooked in time and Emily brought it with her. I had missed Emily and when she came to Saigon, after trying to sort out my head, we continued getting off which lasted until Sihanookville in Cambodia 4 days later. We left for Pnong Peng the next day in Cambodia.

Cambodia will take a long time to write about as I have been working in dolphin bar for the past 3 weeks in Sihanookville so I am going to bed as those are the doctor's/Naomi's orders!

Vang Viennnngggging It

Sooo... I haven't posted in about 11 days or so so there is a lot to tell. The last time I posted I think was my last day in Chiang Mai which of course was another mad night of drinking with Oli but to be honest it has been so long that I really do not remember anymore of Chiang Mai so I will move on to Chiang Kong. Oli and I got a bus (raw) to Chiang Kong which took roughly 6 hours and was dirty/horrible/nightmarish especially when hungover. At Chiang Kong we met these two french guys who I talked to extensively for 2 hours before getting some much needed rest before me and Oli caught the slow boat to Luang Kabang (maybe wrongly spelt) the next day. We slept, got some food (I got a bottle of Samsum - Thai Whisky -50%) and got on the boat. The seats were quite literally planks of wood stuck together with nails - verrry uncomfortable, but as it was the first day of the boat ride everyone ignored the lack of comfort and got drunk instead. At the back of the boat it was Dan's birthday and he was getting slaughtered! Me and his friends all got really drunk and by the end of the trip I was going down each row shaking hands with everyone on the boat, meeting them then moving on to the next bench. Of the 60ish people I met I remember Dan, Charlotte (who we actually met in Chiang Mai) Scott a lad from Kent, my Korean buddy, and Mr. Oreo and his wife. I may have missed out some people but it wasn't ,y finest hour for remembering such trivial things as names, just faces! After 7 hours of wasting me and oli hopped off the boat and climbed the rocky hill to a tiny authetic village in the mountain. We booked our hotel for the night (1 pound fifty for the night) and went out to get some food. Here we met the dutch guy who's name I don't recal althugh he had an unmistakable permenant grin and the 2 french dudes. There was also Shanti (or something) who was a cool thai girl and her dutch friend. We sat and chatted (drank) with them for a couple of hours before going for a walk up the hill. We met a group of thai people about our age eating the wierdest food, and, due to my drunkenness we sat and ate this weird stuff. They also gave as Laotian rice wine that inevitably made me throw up - Chunder Everywhere! In my defence it was about 80%. We went to bed then got back on the boat the next morning. The next morning I remembered maybe two of teh people I had met the day before which led me to be known for my forgetting which may have offended some people. But soon I was chatting and myself again and me, Scott, Oli, Shanti, Charlotte and our new norwegian friend played arsehole for aroud 5 hours. It got quite nerve racking though when Oli introduced the anti-semetic rule which involved alot of exclamations of 'I am not the Jew!' and 'Yes, Im Hitler finally, give me your best cards Jew!'

After the total 13 hours of travelling we arrived in Luang Kobang! Oli, as always, had to find the cheapest accomodation possible so he dragged me, hungover andexhausted around Luang Kobang for about an hour to find the cheapest hotel which was maybe 50p cheaper than the other hotel - no hard feelings Oli. We met up with Charlotte, Scott and the Norwegian and went out. N.B It is despicable that I can't remember the norwegians name as I travelled with him, just us, for 4 days or more, sleeping in the same room. We went out to get the most budget food qwe could find and then went out to a really cool bar where we got some shisha and chilled which was nice change. Due to the 11:30 imposed Kurfew we went back at 11:30 and played cards for a bit before me and Oli went home.

The next day when we woke up I made the first serious mistake of my travels and went to Vangvieng with the Norwegian instead of staying a day at the waterfall. I would say that was the biggest mistake I had made thus far. The bus to Vang Vieng took another 6 hours although me the N. and two swedish guys ended up turning it into a "who can take the msot Valium contest" with me taking only 1 to be responsible, the N taking 4 and two swedish lads take 10 each! Needless to say they couldn't get off the bud and me and the Nor. had to carry them off the bus where they must have slept it off. We went to find a hotel and then went out to discover Vangvieng - the party centre of Laos. I loved Vang Vieng but there is no way I can remember every night in Chronological order so I will describe the standard night and then tell the stories I remember.

In Vang vieng you wake at 3 o clock in the afternoon and go tubing. Tubing is a very deep river with swings, zip lines and diving platforms (yes please) and of coure lots of bars, beautiful women and druuuunk people. One stays there for 4 hours getting drunk and having loads of fun in the sun before heading back to get washed up before heading to Q bar to get your free bucket at 830. You drink you free bucket which has about 5 shot in it and loads of red bull before pushig on to Bucket bar to get another free bucket at 9:00. From then on you drink lots more buckets or about 80p each if you buy it from the right place, so you end up drinking about 5 buckets , if you're a man and so you get extremely drunk. You head back to the hotel at about 6:00 in the morning if you are on good form. Throughout the first 4 days, before I met my Emily I got with 2 thai girls who were living together** and one dutch girl**.
These 4 days were a massive blur as I got paid to feature in tourist videos with my dives (doing triple summersaults and such.) On the fifth day I bumped into Emily Gale** who I met raving once at fabric just before her holidays. I didn't recognize her at first but I soon recalled and we have been together since. The first night we danced together and got off but she went back to her room with Laura (the mean but lovely one) and Ellie (the sleepy but cool one.) The next day we bumped into each other and had breakfast together at the aussie bar where we met an aussie mother with her son lars 11 and her cute kidnap tempting daughter 4. The daughter squirmed all over me and we sat drank with them for about 4 hours. We bumped into Vicky our cool friend who I met one of teh nights and we slowly all got really drunk. The restof the day passed by us in a blur but we had so much fun. We got back to the hotel at 8 and went to my room where I threw up (don't worry there are photos.) Shortly after Emily started throwing up, after I woke her(rookie mistake) from some serious food poisioning. From then on, as her hero, we stayed together withl ots of crazy things happening. THe next night we had shrooms at Z bar - the bar where I had been working, promotoing. We had a craazy night but Emily in "her bubble" didn't stay out for long and went back to bed. I stayed out till 5 and went back, where Emily was waiting for me in her bed. We went up to my room and went back to my room and slept after a very trippy zoot my boss gave me. The next day we chilled and that night I made the biggest mistake I have made in years. I ate a whole bucket of shrooms and started to trip HARD. I met a guy who traded a handful for what I think was acid - stupid stupid Hamish! I began walking back to the hotel when I bumped into Oli and Emily. I told Emily what was happening and she took me back to the hotel. I lay in bed and that's when every tragedy that has happened to me started to recur and all of teh dead people came back to me. I stayed up all night with terrible hallucinations of Gavin and other people. I woulddescribe the rest of the bad trip but it was too horrible to reccount and i think it is more of a think I could talk about, not write about and above all publish. I didn't sleep all night and my Emily saved me that night. We have only been together (not 'together' in a 'give it a label' kind of way) for 5 days, but I owe her everything. We got to Vientienne where I am now sorting out my visa to get to Hanoi (Vietnam) so I can rejoin her, laura and ellie. I miss her.

Sakrom madnessssss

Sakrom is the thai new year which is why the waterfights have been going on. Each day the waterfights have been getting more and more mental to the point that there was a foam machine spraying foam over the entire road today (it's the last day of sakrom.) After my last blog I have settled into Chiang Mai with Oli and have been having some really mental nights. I will start with the first night which was probably the drunkest I have got so far. We started at roof top bar as always. I met a british girl at the bar and we got talking. In the end we went and sat with her and her friends. She had really cool friends all about 25ish and I started talking with a really fit one of them. We got on really well but I slowly got so much drunker and ended up talking/getting with the "less attractive" crazy 28 year old. We went on to reggae bar after that where I lost my new friend for the night and ended up dancing on the stage with the band that was playing which was pretty fun. After that I walked home in an absolute state, stubbing my toe which has given me soooo much trouble. I have taken a huuuuge chunk out of my big toe and I can hardly walk any more, I will take a photo tonight to put up to show you all (gross I know.) Luckily Oli being the sensible guy that he is has a massive bag of gauze and surgical tape, so I'm keeping it clean. I woke up the next day with one of the worst hangovers I have ever had thanks to the heat. The hotel we have been staying at has a fan but no air con. It's not the laps of luxury but it is cheap and chearful plus we get our own shower and bathroom which is sick.

After I had gotten over my hangover with my new recipe for the best hangover cure (sushi and beer) we went to the waterfight for about 5 hours. After a good drenching we had a few beers at my old hotel with some brit girls we met which was nice and then I got chatting to my new gay best friend. His name is Louis and he is french and the coolest guy. We always bump into each other and he is a proper joker, plus I like to speak to him in french which is fun, plus the girls hear it and love it. I also met the spooniest hippy from California who is going around thailand studying buddhism and mediation. He, however, unfortunately has to stay in Chiang Mai for 10 days because he was bitten by a monkey and he needs a series of rabies jabs. After all this we went back to the hotel and got dry to go out. That takes us to last night which was the craziest night I have had so far. We started at roof top bar (standard) where Richard was tripping out on acid - very funny. Me and Oli sat with a Thai girl called Mai*** who was 25 and a TV producer from Bangkok and her friend who I don't remember much about. I ended up getting with Mai for a few hours but lost her at reggae bar where we had been dancing on the tables to some banging reggae. I very drunkenly said my goodbyes, lost Oli, and started on my way back as I was feeling pretty fragile from the night before. However I walked past this bar to hear "lost in this world" by Netsky being pumped out off these massive amps so I ended up staying there for a few hours dancing on the amp, raving to really sick drum and bass with a big electro feel to it. After being fed a lot of whisky by a drunk irish guy I stumbled out of the bar at about 6. I continued on to Tapae gate and met this rude boy who was looking for any club that was still open. We got a Tuk tuk to Spicy Club where maybe about 90% of the people were thai. The music was terrible but I was drunk enough to dance to anything and ended up meeting the fittest girl I think I have seen yet on my travels. She was a blonde german pole dancer living Chiang Mai called Lizzie***. I danced with her for 2 hours until the club closed and then I said my goodbyes. By this time I had been drinking for about 20 hours. I got a Tuk tuk to the top of the road by my hotel to get some water but the driver didn't speak any english and didn't know how to get there... SO I drove! Really fun. I went into a restaurant to get my water and ended up setting up the restaurant with this 13 year old thai girl as it was just opening (it was about 8 in the morning.) I said goodbye and finally got back to my hotel at about 8:30. Slept all day and woke up about 4 hours ago to get some sushi. That's about everything although I have left out some stuff...

WET WET WET

So it's only been a day since my last post but loads has happened. I am sitting in an internet cafe with Oliver Kennedy (Mirjam's friend) and Mirjam. Yesterday after I posted my blog I basically went and got lost in Chiang Mai on purpose. I went to all the temples to see some really amazing Buddhist relics and architecture. I'll post some photos when I get the time so you can see what I mean. I met a pretty cool monk called Paul and we discussed what Buddhism actually is and then went on to meditation. He told me about a big meal within the temple that started at 4 and ended at 11 but I didn't make it because of the waterfight which I will go on to talk about after I describe the market.
I came across this huge market about 2 miles outside of the centre of Chiang Mai and outside of the touristy places. This market was for thai everyday people buying there groceries and such. The whole market was probably about 500m by 500m and it was filled with interesting smells and foods. I'd first walk past a spice stall, then a stall with buckets of live fish and although it is difficult to describe it was really amazing. I bought some flip flops and sunglasses and then went on my way back to Tapae Gate where I had stayed the night before.
I didn't really know where I was going from there because I had to wait for Mirjam and Oli to get back from there trek so I was stuck with a few hours to kill and I was exhausted and uncomfortable from my 4 hour wander so I decided to make my way back to the hotel to have a shower until suddenly I got a bucket of water in my face from a little thai by in a tuk tuk. It startled me and I was really confused until I saw the water fight that had started on Tapae corner. To celebrate the thai new year in Chiang Mai the city has a 4 day water fight which involves the entire city. It is definitly the most fun I have had in ages and after the slower beginning of about 30 people in the first hour slowly hundreds of people poured onto the streets with buckets and super soakers and it turned into an epic battle. The waterfight was mainly on the road and the traffic continued as normal with the odd drive by here and there and the much coveted target of the tourist buses which have teh back open and windows. Please note health and safety is not existent in Thailand and the fact that there wasn't a massive crash with the many moped drivers being squirted in the eye was staggering.
After 6 hours of water fighting I went back to the hotel to check my phone to have a missed call from Mirjam. I called her and then left my hotel, thanking David, the hotelier who had offered me a room on a massage bed (everywhere was booked up for the new year) if I couldn't get in contact with Mirjam. I got to the winner inn and met Oli which was cool. Unfortunately the room was 350 baht (7 pounds a night) which was too expensive for my tastes having payed 100 baht (2 pounds) the night before. However I will admit the air con was a much appreciated luxury.
We were all tired from their trek and my trek/wander and waterbattle so we went out to get some food then headed back to the hotel for some much needed rest. We all "slept like rocks" then had breakfast. Me and Oli are going to share a cheaper hotel room for 200 baht (4 pounds a night) whilst princess Mirjam stays in her suite. That brings me to now. Round 2 of the waterfight begin!

At the moment I'm sitting in an internet cafe in Chiang Mai trying to cope with a major hangover and very little sleep over the past few days. My travel experience started in a bar in Heathrow when I ended up having loads of whisky and beer with Richard. Richard is this 25 year old guy who used to live in Chiang Mai and just won 5 grand though the lottery so he decided to come to Chiang Mai to visit his thai girlfriend. He works as a welder and works 6 months of the year then comes over to Thailand for the other 6. He was a really sick guy and I met up with him last night at the roof top bar where all of his mates go. I'll get to that in a minute though..On the plane I was sat next to a portuguese speaking indian mother and daughter on their way to Goa. That was OK although they didn't speak much english so we didn't really chat much except for attempting to learn about each other through sign language, which got pretty graphic when the daughter started being violently sick half way through the flight. I ended up drinking loads because it was free and it would have been rude not to. I slept most of the flight and didn't watch any TV. Instead I drunkenly listened to the "best tracks from Disney".When we landed at Mumbai me and Richard went to this weird place behind a restaurant where about 50 people were crammed into this dodgy smoking area and the air was so thick you hardly needed to smoke. On the flight from Mumbai to Bangkok I sat next to this really fit blonde girl that was on her way to Ko Samui for 2 weeks. She was really cool and I chatted to her loads about fabric and such the like and found out we had a fair amount in common which was cool. Unfortunately, of course, she started vomiting lots towards the end of the flight so that kind of killed any vibe. The other guy I was sitting next to was sooo sick. He was this indian guy that spoke really terrible english on his was to Bangkok with his colleagues for some sort of "work holiday". I didnt talk to him at all at the start but when Joanne started vomiting I made the effort. He gave me his card which was kind of weird but and said if I went to Bangkok I should meet up with him. Obviously I couldn't because I was flying on to Chiang Mai. We landed in Bangkok and I got my first thai redbull which was literally like speed and then me and Richard got a few beers. Richard went 1/2 an hour earlier on a different flight so he left me. I went to the smoking area at my gate and met Non this 25 year old gemologist who lives in Chiang Mai but is studying in Bangkok. He was a really safe guy, and kind of reminded me of Josh Chow. I chatted to him until the flight and then got on and clocked an hour of microsleep. When we arrived at Chiang Mai Non gave me a lift to the roof top bar for free which was cool and he gave me his number so I reckon I will see him again.I got to the roof top bar and met up with Richard who introduced me to his friends who were some crazy people, but I didn't stay for long because I was so knackered. I stayed at the bar for an hour or so but it wasn't really happening. I do remember that the music was really good. This crazy DJ was playing really good dubstep and Drum and Bass but with a bit of an asian electro twist to it which was really sick. I got back to my hostel and slept for 5 hours or so to wake up baking. It was so so hot even at night and I realised I wasn't going to get back to sleep so I went for a walk through Chiang Mai to get some food. It was really quiet at the this time and the only people to meet were mostly thai prostitutes although I did talk to one for a bit. I'm going to meet up with Mirjam when she gets back from her hike later today. That is the update! xx

To save myself from an angry little sister, I will miss Neenaw lots as well. She better take care of herself. Watch out lads I'm only on the other side of the world.